Fred begged us to bring the twins.

It will only be one hour, he told us again and again, and it won’t be the same if the whole family isn’t there.

And we were close to bringing them, until JT and Matthew went to the practice.

Matthew was playing the processional, and one tradition in a Kenyan wedding is for the bride to work down the aisle VERY slowly to show she is sad to leave her parents. After he played the processional SEVENTEEN times, she hadn’t quite made it down the aisle.

That’s when we decided to get baby sitters for the twins.

The wedding was to start at 10:00am. The boys went early because they were in the wedding, and Nancy and I showed up at 9:45am. The only people at the church were the groomsmen. No one else was there.

At about 10:45 the bride’s car showed up, with about three dozen women surrounding the car, singing and dancing and having a big time. I think every bride should get a greeting like that. Another Kenyan tradition is that the bride is ALWAYS late for the wedding.

Around 11:00 am, the wedding began. The church was absolutely packed, and there were about fifteen white people there. The groomsmen came in, and JT looked very handsome in what looked like a Nehru jacket. Then the bridesmaids came in, with a very long, very choreographed walk that was pretty cool.

Some people think that a wedding rehearsal is unnecessary, but we saw proof of how the bugs can get worked out when Matthew started the processional. He only had to play it EIGHT complete times in order for the bride to get to the altar.

At this point, we looked over at JT and he looked even whiter, which was no mean trick. He had locked his knees, and he was close to fainting. Someone grabbed him and he sat down, but it was pretty close to getting interesting.

Then things got REALLY interesting. In a Kenyan wedding, apparently anyone with a camera can move to any location during the ceremony to take a picture, and at least a dozen people moved all over the place taking pictures. It got to the point when you wondered if they would rearrange where the bride and groom were standing to get a better angle.

There were five different groups scheduled to perform. Nine different groups did. When one would get done, another would begin singing from their seats and walk forward to perform. At this point, it was 1:00pm and it looked like it might never end. But after another 45 minutes, the wedding was over. There was a collection taken up to help clean the church.

After the wedding, they took about an hour of pictures from the church, and the whole wedding party then left to go to another location to take more pictures. So all the people at the wedding just laid down on the grass and waited. Nancy went home at this point, because it was close to dinner and the twins needed to be fed.

They came back around four, and the wedding lunch was served to all who were there, and it was obvious that for many, this was a major reason to attend. After an ample meal, the parents each gave three-minute speeches. This was three minutes in Kenyan time, so each speech lasted thirty minutes, and at that point, it just started getting more and more fun.

It was then time to give gifts. They played a tape that sounded suspiciously like roller skate music, and hundreds of people lined up to give their gifts. After the gifts were given, there were four different cakes cut, and I was one of the people asked to cut a cake. My cake was the friendship cake, and it is a big honor to be asked to cut a cake.

What I didn’t know was that I was supposed to give a speech. At this point, I shouldn’t have been surprised, because EVERYONE had given a speech, but I was not prepared, and I could tell by the laughter of my fellow missionaries that it was not was of my best efforts:

I am white You are not I come from Texas You live in Kenya But we are united in our friendship with our lord and with Fred and Sarah.

As I said `I am white and you are not’ I saw two missionaries absolutely lose it, laughing so hard that I thought they might get ill. An hour later, I saw one of them and he immediately returned to the fetal position with tears pouring out of his eyes. At the time, I thought the speech was not as stupid as it sounded.

It didn’t help my cause that as I cut the cake, I started yelling for fear of ruining the cake, which also didn’t help my cause. As we were leaving later, every Kenyan I walked by started to scream like I did when I was cutting the cake.

At 5:30, it was still going strong, but my ride was leaving and I had to go. An amazing experience and a wonderful celebration; certainly not the time frame we expected, but a wonderful way to start a marriage.

One more thing. I’ve been a best man twice, and a groomsmen over a dozen times, but I’ve never had the honor I received in this wedding. At the bottom of the program (which is a story itself: how many wedding programs do you see with Cake Mistress and Convoy Mechanic?) there was a dedication to me. The last thing on the program was `To Steve Peifer, my first beloved computer teacher.’

Who says guys don’t cry at weddings?

Steve Peifer

PS. We will be gone until the 15th. Catch up with you then!