Until Kenya, the best one I ever heard was a prof at the Naval Academy. He excused himself from a meeting because `his ship needed to leave the harbor’. I was puzzled until I saw him leaving the restroom.

The older boys and I are taking Swahili lessons while Nancy is gone, and he confirmed to us something that she had told us earlier. In Kenya, if you’ve got to go do your duty, you excuse yourself by saying `I’ve got to go tie the goat.’

Of course it has caught on with the boys. You would think we had a zoo by the way they talk, but I think it will be part of our family tradition. I’ve heard so many variations of goat phrases from them I can’t hardly believe it. A goat roast has taken on a new meaning.

TWINS 2, MODERN DAD 0

It’s now been a week since Nancy has left, and like most things in life, the anticipation was worst than the reality. The babies have slept the night every night this week, and problems have been few. JT and Matthew have been wonderful helpers, and they have made it fun for me and the babies. We really miss Nancy, but I will always treasure this special time I’ve had with my babies.

As a modern dad, I have learned three things this week:

Principle One: As long as it doesn’t hurt, anything baby’s wear is ok. I managed to put Ben in an outfit that was completely backwards; it was like a sweatshirt with the place for your hands at waist level. Except that it was backwards; I had managed to put it on the wrong way and he wore it all day that way.

I discovered my error at noon, and I examined him to make sure that it wasn’t causing any discomfort. When it wasn’t, what’s the point of changing? Colors are another story; my wife still dresses me, and I struggle with color combinations. I have told Grace that `oh, that is cool in the United States now’ so many times that she doesn’t believe me, for some reason. But neither baby is hurt, and that is all that matters.

Principle Two: If you have to bet between brute force vs. lightening speed, it’s a tough call. Katie is almost walking, and can move like the Flash when she wants to. Ben is crawling, but he is pretty slow compared to her. Katie will crawl OVER Ben if he is slowing her down.

But she is not as successful in swiping toys from Ben anymore. Ben probably weighs three pounds more than Katie, and if he has his hand on a toy, she can’t get it away anymore. He has a death grip. What is happening more and more is that he gets interested in something she has, and will grab it away. When she used to do that to him, he would just sit there and look at where the toy was. Now that he swipes it from her, he does the same thing: he sits and plays with the toy, while she rages. He pays no attention to her, but not in a rude way. He is just focused on the new toy.

Principle Three: Jealous dog = three children

I’m on the floor playing with babies. After awhile, they crawl away. Katie comes back and wants to sit on my lap. I pick her up, she cuddles for a few minutes, and wants down. Ben ambles on by, wants up, says DA DA DA several times, and then wants down.

Then the dog jumps in my lap. This has happened FOUR times this week. The babies have a little truck book that you can squeeze and it will beep. If I beep the book, all THREE of them come over to beep the book, Jessie with her nose.

I had a semi-funny story to end this with, but it has turned out not to be funny at all. A friend here went to get her license to drive a bus here. After paying so much money to the trucking company, she spent virtually no time behind the wheel of a bus. The bus at the school was decrepit and she didn’t even get out of first gear. She went to the police to take her test, and instead of testing her, they asked her how long she had been driving. When she said `20 years’ they said `That is good’ and issued her the license. She never got behind the wheel of a truck. The trucking company just paid off the police.

It was funny when she told me the story, but this week, two people I know have been killed on the roads in Kenya. When you drive here, you often wonder how people ever got their licenses. I think I know now, and it’s another little thing that is so brutal about this place. It sobers me up about small sins in my own life; they can grow to become such horrible things. The guy who passes people without testing their skills doesn’t think of it as a big thing, but I know two widows that shouldn’t be.

Your pal

Steve Peifer