Underwearing: My reluctant love affair with the hygiene impaired

October 23, 2003 by Steve Peifer

I only play golf twice a year, so excuse one more golf story, ok? JT, Matthew and I are driving, and JT hits the green, and gets the greatest excuse that has ever been recorded for golf. A baboon comes running, and grabs his ball. Our caddy charges the baboon, who flees with the ball. If your putt doesn’t go in after THAT, don’t you have a RIGHT to a gimmee?

We all desire to create something that will live forever. Many will create something of beauty that will edify and challenge all you see it.

Mine is a little different.

When I first came to Africa in 1999, I taught computer to grades 1-6. Several kids were cutting up in class one day, and we had the following discussion.

Me: Stop it, you knuckleheads.
Them: What is a knucklehead?
Me: It means you have knuckle for head.

For some reason, `you have knuckle for head’ has caught on. Sometimes, `you have knuckle’ also works, but it is something that I hear many times a day.

It isn’t what I would have CHOSEN to live forever.

What is it like to have 18 eighth grade guys in the house you live in? Of course, we marvel at the multi-culturalness of it all: Africans, Koreans, Germans, Danish, Americans and Australians all growing and sharing the joys of their cultures.

But, this being eighth grade guys, mostly it is gross.

Examples:

Most of these guys are hygiene impaired. One day I am inspecting the cleaning (har har har) of the toilet:

Them: I cleaned it. Honest
Me: Do you call THAT clean? (pointing to something quite disgusting)
Them: I guess not.
Me: Clean it then.
Them: (Rubbing disgusting area with bare hand)
Me: NOT WITH YOUR BARE HAND!!!
Them: (Extreme puzzled look)

Later, after an altercation between two rooms, I asked each guy to write an essay explaining why they were sorry for what they did.

Them: I am very sorry for underwearing Josh at 3am.
Me: I am probably going to be sorry for asking, but what is underwearing?
Them: You sneak into someone’s room while they are sleeping and stuff dirty underwear into their mouths.
Me: You have GOT to be kidding.
Them: (Greater extreme puzzled look)

I can’t articulate why I am enjoying them as much as I do. Nancy has a theory that I see my younger self in every disgusting act, but I’m sure she is mistaken because I was a veritable angel as a young child. It probably stems from the fact that I see the opportunity to invest in young lives, and the delight that comes with doing that.

Or I’m just so glad that underwearing wasn’t invented when I was a kid.

I went to Kiambogo today. It is a school of 800 children is a very remote area. It took almost an hour to get there. When we arrived, the children were running towards the car.

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The headmaster told me that he has nine teachers to instruct 800 children. He said that wasn’t the greatest problem he had.

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He told me his goal was to have one textbook for every three children. Nancy was at a different school this weekend, and she was told the same thing. It was such a hard thing to hear.

The headmaster was so encouraged. He told me `It is getting so much better. We have food, and we have more books. Soon we may have more teachers.’

Perspective is a real gift, isn’t it?

Your pal

Steve