Right Hand Fork, Left Hand Knife: Fine Dining in the Eighth Grade

June 1, 2004 by Steve Peifer

Kenya put their tax forms out on April 20. Taxes were due April 30. When people protested, they made a ruling that explains much about this country. Taxes were still due on the 30th, but the forms weren’t due until June 30th.
We had the annual Eighth Grade Formal recently. It’s always funny, and it’s always sad that the parents don’t get to see their guys clean up so nice. One guy was so scared about being incorrect that he wrote...

The Power and the Glory

May 12, 2004 by Steve Peifer

The visa situation wasn’t going well. We had started the process in November, and chased down every rabbit they asked us to chase We had received an email from the embassy at the end of April that included:
Your below is incorrect, and I do not appreciate being quoted on things I did not say. If you fail to provide the required documents, the case will be denied.
And:
In my experience, petitioners often hear what they want to hear, and this case...

Son of `It’s not for me, it’s for my mother’

April 25, 2004 by Steve Peifer

Long long ago I wrote about the trauma of having to buy personal items for my mother when I was a kid, and how when I had to buy them for Nancy, it got worse. It got a LOT worse last week.
We are about an hour away from shopping, so since I was in town, it was only fair that I would buy the product that she wanted. I went into the store, and looked and looked, and finally found...

And I Don’t NEED Sun Screen

April 7, 2004 by Steve Peifer

Our kids are all changing. I have this conversation with Katie almost every day:
Katie: Daddy, what color skin do you have?
Me: I have white skin.
Katie: What color skin do I have?
Me: You have beautiful black skin.
Katie: And I don’t NEED sun screen!
Whenever Nancy works on Katie’s hair, as soon as she is done, she races to the mirror to see what it looks like. That is funny in itself, because Katie’s run might remind you of Groucho Marx’s sloping walk,...

Love vs. Inhaling Helium: Valentines Day for the Eighth Grade Guys

March 4, 2004 by Steve Peifer

Someone brought us one of those variety boxes of different types of chips from the states. They were the kind of bags that you might have put in your lunchbox when you were a kid. It was a great thrill, and it became almost like a poker game. `I trade you two Doritos for one Cheetos.’ I think I could eat one of those bags in one gulp when I was a kid; we lingered over our bags and our...

It will be better for them

February 8, 2004 by Steve Peifer

Mind you, I get up around 5:30 am during the week, and around 6:30 on the weekend. It’s just that there is something about Sunday morning that just begs to sleep in until 7. This, of course, is an outrage to the dynamic duo, who can spend twelve minutes happily playing together. After that, they come into our bedroom. It is there that I learned the first rule of twins: It doesn’t COUNT if you said it to the other...

More Cross-Cultural than Ostrich Fajitas

January 21, 2004 by Steve Peifer

Whenever I sang ANYTHING to my little sister, she would yell `I know! You’re singing the Theme from Rocky!’
I was kicked out of the choir in Manhattan, Kansas because I could make a whole row go flat, and I was kicked out as the director was making his weekly plea for more male voices.
When I was briefly on the worship team in Texas, I was told that I could sing whenever the whole band was blaring. Otherwise, I should just...

They Got One?

January 11, 2004 by Steve Peifer

When you give twins a bath together, they NOTICE stuff. Since we are trying to do the toilet training thing, it has led to discussions about differences between a boy and girl. After almost every bath, Katie will tell me `Ben has one, and Daddy has one, and JT has one and Matthew has one but Momma doesn’t have one and I don’t have one.’

That was all good, but she and I were going for a walk and we passed...